I’m beginning to see now that feeling far away from God has most to do with me, my thoughts and attitudes. In the Psalms the songwriter says, “Where are you, God? Why do you stand so far away?” Everything around the poet is crumbling, all the outside stuff. The nation is suffering loss and defeat. This kind of suffering is not of our own making as individuals.
(Now, I have to be careful to not begin to immediately draw parallels between what God’s word is describing and the difficulties that my particular country might be facing. This is a topic for some other time- but I think that God “uses” the nations to carry out what he wants to do. But it’s different with the believer, the “beloved”. The hardships and inner suffering that I experience are for my growth in becoming more like Jesus Christ.)
But there is a type of struggle and suffering that I can bring on myself.
When I am offended, my response to that offense affects my Drawing Near to God. I can choose forgiveness, understanding and reconciliation or I can wander down the thorny path of pride, anger and accusation.
When I hold on to resentment which eventually grows into bitterness, when the largest screen in the theater of my mind is playing-rewinding-playing the images of the past, when my thoughts are focused on my “enemies” all day long, is that not a type of adoration or worship? Have I given my loving God a place below those dark feelings?
If I keep listening to the voice of resentment echoing in my heart, I will be unable to hear the gently whispered I-love-yous from the Father. I’m not saying that he doesn’t love me. I am saying that I am less aware of that affection. There is a loud, harsh voice in my mind and heart screaming for attention.
Resentment and unforgiveness are anti-loves that shout too loudly to be silenced. They have to be replaced with adoration of the One who suffered punishment for every wicked offense ever given and carried the weight of every injury ever received through all eternity.
Block out the noisy voice. Listen to him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love…”
(First photo: Photo by BOOM 💥: ttps://www.pexels.com/photo/children-whispering-in-ones-ear-12659334/)